People have been asking me whether I have a boyfriend now. They’re quite surprised when I answer them ‘None’. I guess they just got used to the times I had been with a guy before. Anyway, whatever I believe in right now is what I stand for and might not be for everyone.
To clarify, I am not planning to stay single forever. No. If you know me that well, you know that I’ve had past, failed relationships in my previous, and younger years. You would easily tag me as the girl who always had a guy.
Today is a different time. I believe that my convictions are becoming stronger, and my heart is continuously changing. As years passed by, I came to realize the importance of having a boyfriend. I believe that there are five reasons why men and women engage in a relationship.
- After Romance
All of us have that want to be wanted by default. We want to be romantically involved with someone because we enjoy the thrill of having butterflies in our stomach, making us feel the kilig because it just simply makes us happy. There’s nothing wrong with that. But, what if the kilig and happiness fade away? What’s left to stay?
No man is an island. According to the Bible in Genesis, God created the woman because it is not good for man to be alone. Hence, both are meant to accompany each other. In the modern world, we enjoy companionship because we don’t want to be alone. Being alone in the middle of the crowd makes us feel left out. I know it’s really nice to eat with someone after a long day, and talking about your ups and downs. It feels good to have someone wait for you after your over time. But what if the other person suddenly leaves and wants to be with another person just because?
“If only we’ll just be together, I can get whatever I want.”
“I feel secured when I’m with you.”
“I can’t live without you.”
These are cliches I’ve been hearing from a couple of relationships I’ve encountered. Truly but sadly, we find our security in another person, whether it be financially, or emotionally. Our lives revolve around that person and then when they’re gone, our whole world is shattered and we feel really helpless. Why? Because your identity is in that person.
- Just Marry
I guess these are the people who got pressured because they’re in the marrying age, or because they wish to settle with the other person. SETTLE. Pardon me if you think the word ‘settle’ connotes being stuck.
I hate to say it but I’ve known a lot of individuals who are in this situation. If you ask them why do they think they want to marry, common answers will compose of factors such as age, finance, wants, etc.
If you’re in a relationship now and you have plans of marriage, great for you! You might be in the right track. Can I ask you why you want to get married?
If you are in a relationship now, and you don’t have any plans of marrying the other person, why are you still there? It’s like building your multimillion dollar house… but in a wrong lot, in the wrong street, in the wrong city. It’s wasting your time, money, energy, and emotions.
- Marrying for God’s glory
If you are able to get to this part reading this article, thank you so much. You might really be curious about the last part because everything that I’ve previously stated insinuated negation.
This last and fifth purpose should be the ultimate reason. Getting involved in a relationship is something serious to discuss and deal with because God has very specific instructions about marriage.
The man and woman both have very distinct roles in the marriage. The man should be leading the family, in larger and bigger terms. That means that the man makes the big decisions and that will involve bringing your family closer to God. The woman’s role is quite questionable in the society given the ubiquitous arguments of women’s rights. But according to God’s word, the woman’s role is to be a helper to the man and submit to her husband.
I guess you’re quite confused already where this is leading to. Again, the woman’s role is to be a helper to the man and submit to her husband.
It’s just that, that’s not me yet.
I am not yet that woman, the man that I’m looking for, is looking for.
I am not yet the woman God wants me to become.
If I insist in getting involved in a relationship while my heart and soul are still not ready, chances are, the man I’ll be dating and I will be damaged along the way. We could hurt and inflict pain to each other because it’s not time yet. Cliché as it may sound but ‘In God’s time, everything will be perfect.’
Instead of actively seeking and waiting for that man God has promised me to be with, I’ll be actively seeking and waiting on God and know Him more. In this journey, I believe that God will teach me the right way of love, His standard of love. He will teach me how I can be ‘The one’. Despite the distractions of the world, by His grace, I will be able to keep my ways pure, abiding to His will. This is my season. And for this reason, I am single.
I’m a work-in-progress.